Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Stock Market Jokes

The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.

What's the difference between buying a lottery ticket and buying a penny stock? In the first case, you help finance your local community swimming pool. In the second case, you help finance the stock promoters home pool.

My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it's his!

A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.

A stockbroker is someone who invests your money till it's all gone!

It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.

A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!

I'm thinking of leaving my husband, complained the broker's wife. "All he ever does is stand at the end of the bed and tell me how good things are going to be."
Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low.Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower

Q: Why did God create stock analysts ? A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.
Broker: A man on the right end of a telephone.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Recession

Looks like the global recession is going into the next stage. What is Wallstreet going to do today and how will this work out in the coming days?

Im following the stock markets with interest at the moment. I have some money which i will use to buy stocks, still waiting for my broker to send me the details of my account though. Hope they will send it in time :P

Looking at some defensive dutch stocks at the moment like Royal Dutch Shell and KPN. I want to start buying now the market is low. In the future i hope i can use my monthly savings to built up a portfolio.

I dont have experience yet with writing options on stocks in my portfolio, but this is the way i want to go forward. Think i'll just try it out and see where it ends, writing short period call options on for instance Shell to add some extra profit (hopefully:P) or to be sure to sell the stocks for a nice target price, buy then back later, maybe by using the writing of put options. But like i said, not much experience on this so if anyone has nice tips they are more then welcome :)

Ill keep you updated the coming week, if i dont get scared to lose my money that is :P Its money i dont really need, but still....